Let Your Kids Do Hard Things

Because That’s Where Confidence Lives

One of the great lies of modern parenting is that love means cushioning the fall.

I get why well-meaning, misinformed parents do it. Watching your kid struggle feels like running a marathon in cheap Mexican flip-flops. But if we shield them from the hard things in life, we don’t raise stronger kids. We raise kids who think bumps are emergencies. Hard things are not the enemy. Hard things are the training ground.

I’ve seen this play out in my own house more times than I can count. Jackson told me years later that one of the most important moments of his childhood was when I let him take the subway alone to his internship in New York City. He was 16 and wanted a summer internship. He didn’t say it because it was fun. He said it because it was hard, and because I trusted him with something real. That trust forced him to rise to the responsibility instead of hiding from it.

That’s the whole game right there.

Don’t hand them a map. Give them a shot at drawing their own.

Same lesson, different kid, different arena. My daughter Madison didn’t earn her purple belt the first time she tested. She was crushed, her brother got his and she didn’t. I wanted to swoop in, fix it, make the disappointment disappear. But I didn’t. I told her the truth…failing stings, but it’s part of getting good at anything. She went back, trained harder, retested, and earned it. And that belt meant more because she had to fight for it.

That’s what we should want for our kids. Not a life without friction, but a life where they learn friction doesn’t break them.

Let them do hard things. Let them face-plant a little. Let them wrestle with nerves, consequences, tough coaches, awkward conversations, long shifts, early mornings, and the kind of effort that makes confidence real. Because comfort makes kids feel safe. Challenge makes them feel capable. And capable kids can handle anything.