Don't Let Career Success Be a Failure at Home

You can have both, but it takes consistency...

(Photo: Recent father-son trip to New York with my youngest son.)

You focus all your energy on your career and justify it with internal self-talk that goes something like, “I’m doing this for my family.” But it never stops and over the years time away from your kids compounds and puts you at risk of not having built a meaningful relationship.

You tell yourself it is all for them. You tell yourself the missed events and the empty seats at the bleachers are just sacrifices in the name of the long game.

I am here to tell you that you are hallucinating…the long-game is now.

“Man sacrifices his health in order to make money. Then he sacrifices money to recuperate his health. And then he is so anxious about the future that he does not enjoy the present; the result being that he does not live in the present or the future; he lives as if he is never going to die, and then dies having never really lived.” -Dali Lama

Apply this quote to parenting and it’s time to re-evaluate.

The Myth of the “Bedtime Story” Strategy

If you think coming home after a fourteen hour day, smelling like after office drinks, just to read a three minute story to a drowsy toddler is “parenting,” you are going to miss out on your parenting ROI later in life.

You can have the biggest balance sheet in the world, but if your kids only know you as the guy who sleeps in the master bedroom and pays for the Netflix subscription and cell-phone bill, you are missing the point.

I have seen it happen to the best of them in my business groups (YPO and Business School alumnus). Guys go out, conquer the world, and return to find their children have grown up and become strangers with zero emotional connection, or worse.

If you do not put in the hours now, your kids will leave home and treat you like a distant uncle who sends a check at Christmas.

I am living proof that you can be a savage in your career and still be a present parent. After leaving the Navy SEALs and becoming an entrepreneur I have worked my ass off.

I have built and lost businesses, built again. But I never let the career become a convenient excuse to dodge being an active parent.

You have to carve out the time with the same intensity you use to close a deal.

It is about being there for the boring stuff, the weird questions over one-on-one time, and the moments that do not fit into a tidy calendar invite.

You have to be in the trenches with them. Otherwise, you are just a bank account with a pulse.

The payoff for this sustained investment of time isn’t some gold watch or a plaque on a mahogany wall. It is the amazing ROI after your kids growing into adults who actually like you and want to hang out.

You want to be the parent who they call first when life gets hard or when they just want to talk about their lives.

If you consistently show up now, you are building a bridge to a future where your grown children are your best friends rather than acquaintances. That is the ultimate win.

*Note: I’m hosting a FREE workshop on March 14th that I think you’ll want to be at. It’s called Your Voice Becomes Their Voice: The Mental Skills That Shape Strong, Joyful Kids. And in 90 minutes, I’ll walk you through the mental management tools I used to train Navy SEAL snipers — adapted for real family life.

You’ll leave with practical tools you can use with your kids ASAP, specific language shifts that build confidence instead of fear, and a framework for helping your kids handle setbacks without falling apart. Best part? It’s virtual and free with a replay available for those who can’t join us live. Register here.